Learning Out Loud: Why I Started Documenting Everything

Written by Nikesh | Oct 26, 2025 7:54:50 AM

I uploaded my first YouTube video at midnight. Not because midnight was strategic or optimal. Because I'd been staring at the "Publish" button for two hours. The video was rough. Audio wasn't great. I stumbled over words. The editing was basic. But it was real. It showed what I was actually working on, the problems I was trying to solve, the things I was learning. I finally clicked "Publish" and immediately wanted to unpublish it. Too late. It was out there.

Me, learning in public. Permanently.

Why This Felt Terrifying

Putting your work online when you're still figuring things out feels like: Walking into a room of experts and saying "I'm just starting, watch me make mistakes." Documenting your confusion and calling it content. Admitting you don't know things, on the record, searchable forever. Everyone tells you to "build your personal brand" and "create content." What they don't mention: it requires being vulnerable in ways that feel uncomfortable at 17.

The Three Things I'm Creating (And Why Each One Scares Me Differently)

YouTube Channel: Creative Nikesh

Videos about projects I'm building, concepts I'm learning, my experiences in internships and competitions. What scares me: Video is permanent. Everyone can see exactly how I explain things, how I present myself, how I stumble over technical concepts I'm still learning. You can't hide behind text. Your face is there. Your voice is there. Your uncertainty is visible.

Podcast: Neural Nexus

Episodes exploring AI, technology, business, healthcare innovations, space exploration, politics—topics I'm curious about but definitely not expert in. What scares me: I'm 17, talking about complex topics to an audience that might include actual experts. What if I get something fundamentally wrong? What if someone who actually knows this field listens and thinks I'm oversimplifying or misunderstanding?

Blog: Substack

Writing about programming concepts, business lessons, my learning journey. What scares me (less): Text is easier. I can edit twenty times before publishing. But it's still public, still permanent, still me claiming to understand things I'm actively learning.

The Voice in My Head

"Who are you to create content about this? You're still learning."

"People will think you're trying to be an expert when you're clearly not."

"What if you explain something wrong and someone corrects you publicly?"

"Your videos aren't as polished as other creators."

"Your podcast isn't as professional as the ones you listen to."

"Your blog posts are just documenting your confusion. Why would anyone read that?"

This voice is loud. It's there every time I sit down to create something.

I'm learning to create anyway.

What Changed: One Comment

Three weeks after starting my YouTube channel, someone commented on a video where I explained a coding concept I'd just learned: "Thank you for this. I've been stuck on this for days and your explanation finally made it click. The way you explained it—like you just figured it out yourself—helped me understand better than textbook explanations."

That comment made me realize something: The fact that I just learned this isn't a weakness. It's why my explanation is helpful. I remember what was confusing. I remember what questions I had. I remember what finally made it clear. Experts forget what it's like to not know. They skip steps that seem obvious to them but aren't obvious to beginners. I'm still close enough to confusion to explain things in a way that makes sense to other confused people.

The Neural Nexus Experiment

Starting a podcast felt ambitious. Maybe too ambitious. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a researcher. I'm not an expert in AI, healthcare, space technology, or politics. I'm a curious teenager who reads a lot and wants to understand how the world works. But that curiosity drives the podcast. Each episode, I research a topic deeply—not to become an expert, but to understand it well enough to explain it clearly to someone else.

Recent episodes:

  • AI in healthcare: How machine learning is changing diagnosis
  • The business of space exploration
  • Digital diplomacy and cyber governance
  • Breakthroughs in renewable energy

Do I know everything about these topics? No. Do I research them thoroughly, connect ideas across fields, and try to explain them accessibly? Yes.

Is that enough to justify creating content about them? I'm deciding it is.

What Creating Content Actually Teaches You

1. Teaching forces deeper understanding

When you have to explain something, you can't hide behind vague comprehension.

I've rewritten blog posts three times because I realized while writing that I didn't actually understand the concept as well as I thought.

I've re-recorded video sections because explaining out loud revealed gaps in my logic.

Creating content is a test of understanding. If you can't explain it clearly, you don't understand it well enough yet.

2. You learn what resonates

Some videos I think will be great get minimal views. Others I almost didn't publish end up helping people.

You can't predict what will be useful to others. You just have to create consistently and see what connects.

3. Documentation helps you track your own growth

I can go back and watch videos from six months ago. I see how my thinking has evolved, what I understand better now, what I was confused about then.

It's like leaving breadcrumbs for my future self. This is where I was. This is what I was learning. This is how far I've come.

4. Vulnerability builds connection

The videos where I'm most honest about struggling—those get the best responses.

People don't connect with perfection. They connect with "I'm figuring this out too, let's learn together."

The Technical Side (Which I'm Still Learning)

Video creation:

  • Recording: Still figuring out good lighting and audio
  • Editing: Learning DaVinci Resolve, very slowly
  • Thumbnails: Mine are... functional. Not great. Working on it.
  • Consistency: Trying to post regularly while managing IB and internships

Podcast production:

  • Recording setup: Decent microphone, quiet room (when my family cooperates)
  • Editing audio: Removing umms, awkward pauses, background noise
  • Scripting versus improvising: Finding the balance between prepared and natural
  • Episode length: Still figuring out optimal length

Blog writing:

  • Structure: How to organize thoughts clearly
  • Voice: Writing like I talk versus writing formally
  • Frequency: Balancing depth versus posting regularly
  • Topics: What's actually useful versus what I just find interesting

All of this is work. On top of IB. On top of internships. On top of projects.

Some weeks I don't post anything because I'm drowning in actual work.

That's okay. This isn't my job. It's documentation of my learning journey.

What I'm Not Trying to Be

  • Not trying to be: An influencer with thousands of subscribers who makes money from content.
  • Actually trying to be: Someone documenting their learning journey authentically, in case it helps other people learning similar things.
  • Not trying to be: The expert 17-year-old who has everything figured out.
  • Actually trying to be: The honest 17-year-old who's willing to show the messy process of figuring things out.
  • Not trying to be: The person with perfect, polished content.
  • Actually trying to be: The person with real, useful content, even if it's imperfect. The Comments That Make It Worth It

Beyond that first comment, others that have stuck with me:

"I'm also learning to code and feeling overwhelmed. Your videos show it's normal to struggle. That helps."

"Your podcast episode on AI in healthcare made me think about my own field differently. Thank you."

"Just found your blog. Finally, someone explaining business concepts without assuming I already know everything."

These aren't thousands of views or viral moments. They're individual people saying: "This helped me."

That's enough reason to keep creating.

What My Schedule Actually Looks Like

Monday-Friday:

  • School: 8am-3pm
  • Homework/IB work: 3pm-6pm
  • Internship work: 6pm-9pm (some days)
  • Content creation: Whenever I can squeeze it in

Weekends:

  • Catch up on IB work I didn't finish during the week
  • Work on bigger projects
  • Record videos, edit podcasts, write blog posts
  • Sometimes: Just rest because I'm exhausted

Creating content consistently while managing everything else isn't sustainable long-term. I don't know how full-time creators do this daily. But for now, documenting my journey feels important enough to make time for it, even when that time is scarce.

The Criticism I Prepare For (But Hasn't Come Yet)

I expect someone will eventually say:

"You're 17. Why are you creating content like you're qualified to teach this?"

My answer ready: I'm not teaching as an expert. I'm sharing as a learner. There's a difference.

"Your content isn't as good as [established creator]."

My answer: Of course not. They've been doing this for years. I've been doing this for months. I'm learning.

"You're just documenting your homework."

My answer: Kind of, yeah. And if documenting my homework helps someone else understand their homework better, that's valuable.

The criticism will probably come eventually. When it does, I'll deal with it. For now, the encouraging comments outnumber the critical ones, and I'm grateful for that.

Why I Think Other Students Should Do This

If you're learning something—coding, business, science, art, anything—consider documenting it publicly. Not because you'll become famous or make money.

But because:

  • It forces clarity. You can't document vague understanding. You have to make sense of things.
  • It creates accountability. When you say publicly "I'm learning X," you're more likely to actually learn it.
  • It helps others. Someone is one step behind you, confused about exactly what confused you last week. Your documentation helps them.
  • It tracks your progress. Future you will appreciate seeing where you started.
  • It builds communication skills. Explaining complex ideas clearly is valuable regardless of your field.

What I'm Still Figuring Out

  • How much to share: Some projects I work on, I'm not sure if I should document publicly. Internship work has confidentiality considerations. Personal struggles feel too vulnerable sometimes.
  • Quality versus consistency: Is it better to post consistently even if quality suffers, or post rarely but make everything polished? Still figuring out that balance.
  • Audience versus authenticity: Should I create what I think people want, or document what I'm genuinely interested in? Right now, doing the second. Hope that's right.
  • Time management: How do I sustain this long-term without burning out? Don't have an answer yet.

The Real Reason I Do This

Yes, it helps others learn. Yes, it forces me to understand things deeply. Yes, it builds skills. But the real reason?

I'm figuring out who I am and what I care about by doing this publicly. Every video, podcast episode, blog post is me thinking through:

  • What interests me?
  • What do I understand about this?
  • How does this connect to other things I'm learning?
  • What questions do I still have?

This isn't just content creation. It's thinking out loud. Documented.

And somehow, that process—learning out loud, making it public, being vulnerable about not knowing everything—feels like the most honest way to move through this phase of my life.

If You're Considering Creating Content

Start before you're ready.

Document what you're learning right now, not what you'll learn eventually. Be honest about what you don't know. Your first work will be rough. That's fine. Everyone's first work is rough. Someone, somewhere, is one step behind you. Your imperfect documentation will help them more than perfect silence. And five years from now, you'll look back at what you created and see how far you've come.

That future perspective is worth the current vulnerability.

My content: